Getting to the funeral

• Mobile phone – with a mental note to turn it off before the funeral starts
• Details of the location
• Money in case of donations
• Change for car park
• Mobile phone numbers of other people who will be attending
• Flowers if they haven’t been sent in advance
• Words you are going to say if you are taking part
• Tissues

Plan to arrive early! Leave at least half an hour extra in case of delays. Allow additional time for parking and then walking to the location.

Plan your journey carefully including any stops. Many people get lost finding cemeteries and crematoria, which is understandable as they can be in remote, unfamiliar locations. Look up the postcode of the location on funeralmap.co.uk and use a sat nav if you can. Otherwise download a journey plan from AA Route Planner, freely available on www.theaa.com.

Find out in advance if there is car parking or a nearby car park and what the cost will be.

Find out if there are any refreshments and toilet facilities at the location or nearby. If you arrive early do NOT go to the house where the funeral procession will be leaving from unless you have been asked to be a part of the procession. The family will not be pleased to see unexpected visitors at this time.

Most churches and crematoria do have toilet facilities, although most do not have refreshments available. Cemeteries tend to have no facilities at all although natural burial sites may have toilet facilities and/or refreshments.

Call someone else attending the funeral so they can tell the family you are delayed and roughly how long you expect to be. There is nothing worse than close family being aware that you have not arrived and trying to delay the funeral to wait for you.

Crematoria – car parking is usually available but find out beforehand where parking is located or where local car parks are situated. Have enough change for the car park with you. Public transport is usually available to crematoria but you need to check timetables.

Cemeteries – many cemeteries do not have a car park so on-street parking will be needed, or use a nearby car park. If you are taking anyone to the funeral that cannot walk very far, then consider dropping them of at the nearest point and then parking the car.

Churches – some churches have small car parks but many do not, so the same applies as regards parking and dropping off anyone who needs closer access.

Natural Burial Parks – as the majority of these sites have been created in the last 20 years, ample car parking is usually available.

At all funeral locations, don’t park on grassed areas unless directed to do so.

Sometimes funerals involve more than one location, which can’t be walked to. For example, the ceremony or service might be held in a church and be followed by a burial in a churchyard or cemetery, which may not be near the church.

If the funeral involves different locations and you are travelling by public transport, ask the family if anyone attending will be able to give you a lift to the second location.

If you are driving then you will go to your car after the ceremony and, along with all the other mourners, you will drive to the grave location. Make sure you know in advance where the location is as you can easily get separated from someone you are following.