Funerals are hard – there’s no denying that fact. They are also more bespoke than they used to be, with many people expressing wishes for a less traditional funeral. Here we cover the basics of funeral etiquette, from what to wear to what to do.
Clothing
What you may wear to a funeral can depend on several factors, such as the culture of the deceased, their wishes and the type of service. Traditionally, people wear all black to funerals, so if you are unaware of any specific religious or cultural traditions and the family has not informed you otherwise, this is a safe bet. You should find requests about the funeral in the obituary.
Where to Sit
During the funeral service, immediate family members and close friends sit in the front pews or seats, followed by other close family members. If you are not a family member or a close friend, waiting until others have taken their places at a funeral is polite because there is typically no seating arrangement.
Do You Need an Invite?
A funeral announcement generally serves as an open invitation for anyone who wishes to attend the funeral in order to offer their respects.
If you learn that someone has passed away, an obituary or social media post will typically mention the location of the funeral. This will specify if it will be a private service attended solely by immediate family and friends. If you’re unsure, you can ask the funeral director if it’s appropriate for you to attend by calling them.
What to Say
At the funeral reception, mourners can offer their condolences to the bereaved family and exchange words or fond memories with others. Imagine the kind of information you’d welcome hearing about a loved one of your own if you’re feeling uncertain or speechless. You might offer your condolences for the family’s loss and say a few kind words about what you’ll miss most about the deceased. If you haven’t met the deceased’s family before, don’t forget to introduce yourself and explain how you know the deceased.
Flowers and Wreaths
Many people appreciate receiving sympathy bouquets or funeral flowers. However, some religious traditions may not necessarily allow for the giving of flowers. Funeral flower etiquette states that the immediate family normally provides the flowers that are placed on the coffin, while other family members typically provide wreaths and tributes that are transported in the hearse.
Contact Funeral Map for help with funeral plans.
